There is no such thing as too many lenses

Joining a cult

So failing with style! Yup I bought a DSLR camera. With a kit lens. All good! But I’m not very smart. Suddenly I was standing in a shop and the clerk started throwing weird words at me, such as: Bokeh, vignetting, focal length, aperture and other things. I did not understand any of the words but I did understand I needed some more lenses. Buying a DSLR is like joining a cult. You transfer all your money to someone and in return you can tell yourself you are better than the rest of the humankind. With a religious cult because you have for sure reserved a seat in heaven, or whatever their marketing team came up with. And with DSLR equipment because you know you are better than the human scum with phone cameras. I won’t go into whether or not it makes you a better photographer when you spend all your cash on DSLR equipment… because of course you are a better photographer. Actually you are even a better human.

Long story short, I now have a handfull of different lenses. Some are long, some are short, some are heavy, some looks like they are broken, some can make stuff bigger (clerk told me it is called “zoom”), and some are just very static. Some have dials you can turn and others have knobs, dials, sliders and switches.

So what is the F****** difference?

Apparently there are many. And there is no such thing as “one lens for it all”. The closest thing to one for it all is a pocket camera or system camera. But you are not a system-camera-peasant, are you?

In this post I’ll be looking at my zoom lenses, and comparing zooming capabilities. I have a 18-135mm kit lens and a 100-400mm telephoto lens. I have used a tripod with the camera fixed, aiming at the same spot and then mounted the different lenses taking the “same” picture in their respective extremes.

For reference I took the first shot with one of mine 50mm prime lenses (yes I have more than one 50mm lens, because I am good at using my credit card). The size of various objects is very close to what I see with my naked eye, when i look through the viewfinder on my camera.

The 50mm reference shot

This is more or less the raw view I have with my naked eye. In the center of the frame is a tree and on that tree is a bird. I’m no bird expert, but I think it is a pigeon. The distance is about 90 meters.

So nice clear day, tree 90 meters away with a bird.

Kit lens @ 18mm

Interesting! The kit lens at 18mm is cramming more details into the frame. And the bird is reduced to a pixel. I also see some of the straight lines are slightly not straight. There is some fancy photography word for that.

Kit lens @ 135mm

Setting the kit lens at 135mm pulls in the bird. Praise the higher powers. I can see the bird again. This was expected.

Telephoto @ 100mm

Mounting the tele lens and setting it at 100mm, and tada.. We can see the bird and as expected it is slightly less closer to us than the kit lens at 135mm.

Telephoto @ 400mm

Extending the tele lens to miniature bazooka at 400mm the bird is now clearly visible. Not really a surprise…

Conclusion

I don’t really have one. Using a lens @ 18mm will give you a different result than using a lens @ 400mm. This post wasn’t supposed to give you a profound conclusion. It was merely meant to give you some idea of various zoom levels. Unless of course you are a system camera peasant. In that case you should just know I am superior to you. And I have wasted more money than you! Peasants …

Ireland – Denmark

So we are playing against ireland. This could be an epic game, but most likely we will lose. Simply just throw away any opportunity. Stay tuned for updates.

1 – 0 good job, not even 10 minutes played and we are already loosing.

8.18 beer time

9.50 let me completely miss this opportunity .. Well done.

16.30 here let me shoot directly at the goal keeper..

17.50 repeat previous action

19.43 beer time

25.00 hopeless

27.30 miss again

28.20 let me fumble this one in 1-1

29.52 beer time

31.15 it almost looks like the play leading up to this goal was thought through 1-2

41.30 seems like beer time

Half time is beer time

50.45 way off 1-2

51.08 beer time

52.20 aim for the goalkeeper

53.10 a hairband joins the game

54.00 Ireland corner kick, they missed 1-2

55.00 refere must have been smoking some funny stuff

56.16 double try, double fail by Denmark

57.00 fumbling near the Danish goal

57.40 Ireland are becoming so violent the Danish players are loosing their hairbands

60.26 beer time

61.00 irish free kick near the Danish goal or something

62.05 Danish goal 1-3 i think

65.14 beer tine

66.21 and the score is dtill 1-3

67.07 important observation the danes are playing in read while the irens are playing in green. Any viewer with red/green color blindness must find this game confusing

69.18 a hairband leaves the game

71.10 the grass is green as well

73.00 the irens put the ball in place and let some dane have a shot. The score is 1-4. It seems aranged now.

75.04 bertime

76.06 very suntanned dane makes a shot and I think he missed 1-4

77.19 shot just went over the damish goal

78.30ish ad for probablu the brst beerr in the world is showing

80.20 some commotion in front of the iresh goal

80.26 oh..corner kick

81.33 fumbling

83.16 some royalty or something joind thr danes (lord bente)

84.58 a dane seems constipated

86.33 whatever beer time

88.49 someone took down lord bendtner. Penalty kick just around the corner .

89.48 1-5

90.00 +0.45 any point in continuing, there is no one left in the stadium

Finanly the gameeends 1-5. The dsnish team is headng towards russialand, while the irenscan stay and drinm Guinness. Yeah beer time

This concludes my broadcast.

The best ideas

I have taken toilet reading to the next level. After I found my self sitting and s******, in a small enclosed area with just soap and shampoo as entertainment, I thought.. maybe reading shampoo while spending time on the toilet is yesteryears trend. I’m starting a new trend: being productive while using the toilet.

All this just came to me while being on the toilet, this is naturally also written and posted while being on the toilet.

My superpowers

This my list of my real and unreal superpowers.

Super sensitive hearing. Unfortunately only when I’m extremely hungover. I can hear every thing and it makes me sick!

Extreme memory. But only when I’m really drunk. The second I become sober, this superpower is gone. 

Not so much a superpower, but I’m a super ninja as long as nobody sees me. If anybody spots me while in super ninja mode, I loose the ability.

Alarm sleep-through. No matter what sound level use on my alarm, I have absolutely no trouble sleeping through it. If the firearm went of I wouldn’t notice.

Taking a shower

According to a recent study, 80% finds it necessary to sing when taking a shower. Especially if it somewhere public.

Futhermore the study shows that the only two songs appropriate during the shower is “I touch myself” followed by “my way”.

DSB gamble

Every morning is a gamble when it comes to dsb. I think they have a small  encyclopedia of bad excuses. They range from “we could not update our crews I pads with their driving schedule this morning” to “it came as a surprise to us that it could snow in january”

This morning however, no problems so far. But the day is young.  They have already announced replacement busses during the weekend due to engineering works. I have high hopes for Monday. …

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